The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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