I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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