We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
