I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize