those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So many bounce houses so little time
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
