Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
