is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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