i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize