No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
