found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
if i died would you start the facebook group?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
