I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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