i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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