they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I need to stop coming to work sober
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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