"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
