Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
