I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
