He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
