I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Can i not drive my cunt home
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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