I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
