I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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