My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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