I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
