Screwed.edu
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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