A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You can't motorboat a personality
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I smell like Dick and happiness
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
