I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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