Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
