do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
