That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
