A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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