that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
