Sry I called you an 8
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
only you would photoshop your dick
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
