They should really pass out barf bags in church
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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