My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize