wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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