I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
A bitchslap is in order.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
