Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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