Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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