I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
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