at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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