OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
