There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
