my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
