i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She's the barista slut.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
