No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We are two peas in an std pod
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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