ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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