I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
