Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
