Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
