I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
