Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
