mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
