I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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