She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
