I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
