I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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