We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
