can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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