ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
send nudes
from the living room?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
