theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize