Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
