last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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