She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
