I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
