I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
