we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
