piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
