Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
